Love Your Children Uniquely

Love Your Children Uniquely

Each child has a unique and evolving personality. Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish in Siblings Without Rivalry say “To be loved uniquely – for one’s own special self – is to be loved as much as we need to be loved.” Each child is different and unique in all character and physical traits. There are no two children the same. To ensure that our children know that they are special and loved and that they will develop good self esteem, here are a list of important things to consider doing with your children: set aside time for each child be an attentive listener recognize and nurture their individual talents accept each child for who he/she is give up unrealistic expectations separate the child from the behavior keep from confiding in one child about another create an atmosphere of family support for each child’s unique gifts or talents or projects create work or fun projects together as a family unit remember equality doesn’t always bring justice Remember each child is a unique gift from God. By loving and treating each one uniquely, children will feel secure, loved and accepted....

Read More

You are never too old to learn

You are never too old to learn

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”.  That quote from Jim Rohn, who wrote The Art of Exceptional Living has traveled many business circles.  Think about it in your personal life. Have you ever thought about who you hang out with the most? Have you ever thought about who was a positive or negative influence in your life? Have you ever had a friend negate an idea of yours or tell you that you couldn’t do something? I want to encourage you to take a different look at who you are spending the most time with. Are you inspired, accepted, encouraged, challenged, or motivated after being around him or her? Are they contributing to your personal growth and success? While working at doing something new, I became intentional to seek out and spend more time with others whom could challenge me and stretch me in an area that is out of my comfort zone. While I still want to hang with my friends whom I am comfortable with, I am finding opportunities to be with some new people who are not only a source of encouragement, but have a great amount of good ideas and suggestions. You are never too old to learn....

Read More

Grief for the Holidays

Grief for the Holidays

You are facing the holidays and someone you love will be missing from the holiday table because they have died. Holidays are often difficult for anyone who has experienced a loss. You are not alone. Rather than times of feeling joy, togetherness, sharing, and thanksgiving, holidays can bring feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness. Many people find that their anticipation of the holiday season is worse than the days themselves. Try to take charge of the holidays rather that letting them take charge of you. The following are some suggestions that may help: Talk about your grief. During the holiday season, don’t be afraid to express your feelings of grief. Ignoring your grief won’t make the pain go away and talking about it openly often makes you feel better. Family and friends don’t know what to do, so they sometimes not mention your loved one for fear of upsetting you. They may not realize that you are already thinking about the loved one many times a day. Break the ice by mentioning the loved one first. Identify caring friends and relatives who will allow you to speak openly about your feelings. Find those persons who encourage you to be yourself and accept your feelings, both happy and sad. Eliminate unnecessary stress. You may already feel stressed so don’t overextend yourself. Avoid isolating yourself, but be sure to recognize the need to have special time for yourself. Realize also that merely “keeping busy” won’t distract you from your grief. Experience suggests that it only increases stress and postpones the need to talk out feelings related to your grief. Mention the name of the loved one who died and relive fond memories. Include the person’s name in your holiday conversations, talking about special memories of past holidays, realizing that you can hold these memories in your heart forever. Think of them and allow yourself to smile. If you are able to talk candidly, other people are more likely to recognize your need to remember that special person who was an important part of your life. Do what is right for you during the holidays. Well meaning friends and family often try to prescribe what is good for you during the holidays. Discuss your wishes with a caring, trusted friend. You may want to change traditions this year or consider going out of town for a change of scenery. Talking about these wishes will help you to clarify what it is you want to do. Balance solitude with sociability. Solitude and rest can renew strength. Being with people you love can help you feel less lonely, especially if they accept you as you are and do not tell how they think you...

Read More

Play Therapy

Play Therapy

Play is the language of a child. The art of Play Therapy uses play to help children express their feelings through toys instead of words. Play is the child’s natural medium of expression. Toys are to children what words are to adults. The Association For Play Therapy (APT) defines play therapy as “the systematic use of a theoretical model to establish an interpersonal process wherein trained play therapists use the therapeutic powers of play to help clients prevent or resolve psychosocial difficulties and achieve optimal growth and development.” In the textbook, Play Therapy : The Art of the Relationship (2nd ed), Dr. Gary Landreth defined child centered play therapy as follows: “A dynamic interpersonal relationship between a child and a therapist trained in play therapy procedures who provides selected play materials and facilitates the development of a safe relationship for the child to fully express and explore self through play, the child’s natural medium of communication, for optimal growth and development.” Play Therapy provides a way for a child to express their experience and feelings through the art of play. If you want to know more about play therapy, watch the following video which explains the value of play and the play therapy process....

Read More

Walk by Faith

Walk by Faith

Ever been “frozen” to take the next step? Ever been drawn to step out in faith but got stalled because we aren’t sure of ALL the steps, therefore, we don’t even take the first one? We seem to be waiting for assurance that the next step is going to work out. I have learned that God doesn’t always give the entire plan; but He usually just gives the next step. I read somewhere that FAITH is Fantastic Adventure In Trusting Him. Faith is not passive. It is an active endeavor which requires you to MOVE forward. Don’t be afraid to take a step because you think it will be the wrong one. One of my favorite movie clips is from the “Indiana Jones-The Last Crusade” which gives an idea of the courage it takes to take that next step in faith. Spend less than two minutes watching and be reminded of your faith walk in the journey you are in today....

Read More

Plan B

Plan B

I recently attended Royal Family Kids Camp, a camp for abused, abandoned and neglected children where I’ve served as a volunteer since 1999. I served in a role where I help kids who are struggling behaviorally to enjoy their week at camp. The week ended with our Director, Darren Edwards, reporting that this was a week of “plan B”. We had to come up with alternatives to our original plans. To name just a few changes, there were adults who serve in important roles who got sick during the week and there were people stepping up to serve many roles instead of just the job they were assigned to. Also, the water was cut off for two hours one morning as the kids were arriving for an indoor activity of kids club. What do you think happens when you tell adults and kids they can’t go to the bathroom? All of a sudden, people need to go. In addition, a big wind and rain storm came one afternoon and cut off power during chapel time. Can you imagine what it would be like to have 132 kids and over 100 adults in a dark room while it’s storming outside and maintain a sense of self- control? The activities were conducted with a flashlight for about 35 minutes. Then, because of the big storm, the outdoor activities after dinner had to be altered. The kids had looked forward to this time of jumping houses and the rock climbing wall. Activities were changed to indoors and outdoor activities were postponed to the next day. The camp motto is “Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be broken.” There were many opportunities to be stretched that week. It’s a life lesson for all of us. Sometimes things happen in our control and sometimes it’s out of our control. Plans change, a loss happens, someone else’s choice deeply impacts us. How are we going to respond to it? We have choices in our response. What will you choose?...

Read More